The... Mr Coco Part 2

I thought i'd write a second post about my recent video regarding the Late Night Wars, as it has become slightly popular the last few days. At present it has gone up to 130,000 views, mainly because it was put up on the Time magazine website in an article about the 10 best things about the war, and was the first entry.

I've noticed that there is also another translation video up (which I won't link to), that uses a few of the same ideas that I used, naming Conan as Coco and Leno as Lennon, but it does it really poorly. You can't see the text at most times because they chose to do the subtitles in white, without any stroke or shadow to it whatsoever, so when the screen goes white, you can't read at all.

The person who made it commented in the comments thread (when I saw it, they had made about 8 of the 13 comments themselves), that CNN "called" because they liked their video. But a quick search with their video title and CNN simply shows an iReport thing (which anyone can do, the trick is to get it vetted allowing CNN to use the item on air), where the person describes what they did.

You know, I hate to be a jerk, but saying that CNN called about your video and then all it is, is that you've just done some thing for a part of the CNN website that anyone can do... well, it's kind of bad form. Right?

That's like me saying that some porn website called because they liked my Auto Fellation challenge video and then all I did is post it on RedTube or something... well, that's bad form. It's the same sort of thing, isn't it?

The... Worst Porn I Had On My Hard Drive

I wanted to add this to my continuing series of 'worst porn', but to be fair... I already had this entry on my computer. So, this isn't an official entry to the series, but a side dish if you'd like to call it that. NSFW after the jump.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 8

Holy shit! I think I have found one of the creepiest pieces of porn I think I'm ever going to see.

Ask someone to name something that they are afraid of, and alot of people might happen to say 'spiders'. Well, how about watching a spider-lady thing totally fucking a dude, and blowing him and everything? Oh shit yeah, that's exactly what i've found. After the jump, and NSFW.

The... French Must Like Blowing Themselves

I was just taking a look at the videos i've uploaded to Youtube, and the statistics available from the insight thing. Well, it shouldn't really surprise me that the videos haven't really received that many views altogether, as I haven't really tried to advertise them.

One thing that I found odd is that the majority of viewers for my Auto-Fellation challenge video are from France. And i'm really not kidding whatsoever about that. Almost 70% to 80% of the viewers that have sat down, clicked on the video and watched me try to give myself oral gratification are French.

French people, you sicken me. Stop watching me with your dirty eyes and unkempt berets... my body is not for sale! :(

The... Mr Coco

For those following the whole late night stuff that is happening, you will now know that Jay Leno is being moved back to 'The Tonight Show' and Conan O'Brien has been paid roughly $30 million, and is allowed to move to another network, most likely being FOX.

Conan showed on his show a video that has popped up on the internet showing a Taiwanese news report (though it has been incorrectly attributed to the Chinese), where they have made a 3D re-enactment detailing the whole story of what is happening.

The problem is that it is in Taiwanese... so alot of English speaking people cannot understand it in the proper context of what it is, because it involves Conan turning into the Incredible Hulk, and other things of that nature.

Well, if you've seen the video and been wondering what it says, then don't worry about not understanding Taiwanese... as I have graciously translated it into English for the public at large.

My god that video is insane. I love it. I like the way that it is utterly insane, yet it completely tells you everything that you want to know about the situation... well, until it devolves into the respected parties turning into superheroes and fighting physically that is.

Update: So, the video is now around 60,000 views, easily making it my most popular video to date. It was only at about 11,000 yesterday when it suddenly got a massive jump in views. I've now found out that the views are mostly from Time.com, where it was featured in a 'Top 10 Moments from the Late Night Wars' segment and was embedded on the site instead of the original video.

So that is awesome. Thank you Time.

The... Spider-Man Is Dead

So the big movie news at the moment it seems is the fact that Spider-Man 4 has been canceled, and in it's place, a reboot which will see Spidey back in high school and showing us (again) how he gets his powers. Great.

I already saw that movie. It was called Spider-Man and it was only released less than a decade ago.

Anyway, i've noticed a few blogs and so forth going on that Sony might try to get James Cameron to do the reboot, and after him having both the number one and number two top grossing movies of all time under his belt, it isn't that stupid to be thinking of getting him.

Problem is if they even tried to, he most likely wouldn't accept as he has already given it a shot at making Spider-Man. As this article from Tech Land shows, a few of his storyboards have made their way on line. The article talks up some of the ideas for the movie such as Peter Parker being all aggressive because of his Uncle's death, and even going so far as to include a sex scene between Spidey and Mary Jane.

It seems that they only heard this third hand and don't really know much about it considering the article. You see, back in the early 1990's, Fox had the rights to Spider-Man and Cameron was approached to do the movie. He worked on it for a while and you can find his script treatment that he did out on the net. He came up with a multitude of ideas for the movie, and many people think that Raimi took alot of the ideas for the movie that he eventually directed.

This isn't true. In the first Spider-Man movie, only one idea apart from the core Spider-Man mythology stuck. Biological Web-Shooters. Cameron thought the idea that a rather ordinary teenager (he is, regardless of how intelligent he is) could not conceivably come up with a super-adhesive that mimicked spider webbing.

How could he create that shit? It's a stupid idea that he did so in the comics. The only reason it was in the comics is so they could create tension by having him need to reload a cartridge into a web shooter when he ran out. Especially when he is falling.

The idea to just have him develop biological web shooters was brilliant and it isn't any wonder why they kept it. I'm pretty sure they've even put it into the comics now, but I haven't read a Spidey comic for many years now, so I can't say.

Why didn't Cameron end up making the movie? Because of rights issues or something, I can't remember that well what happened. I believe that Fox eventually lost the rights to the movie, which were later picked up by Sony who went on to make the film trilogy. When he lost the chance to do Spider-Man (something that he had apparently tried to get underway a few times), he developed his own comic book like superhero, except he made it a superheroine... thus was born another reason that made it hard to find the awesome Dolph Lundgren movie... Dark Angel.

It is similar to how Sam Raimi, when failing to acquire the rights to make a movie about 'The Shadow', he decided to make his own superhero movie, and thus was born Darkman. The difference between Dark Angel and Darkman was that Darkman was actually good, whereas Dark Angel relied on Jessica Alba's body.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 7

In my town, there isn't much to do to occupy yourself unless you stay in and watch a movie or play a game or something. However, karaoke is pretty big in this town and so a few nights a week, some of the pubs will have a regular karaoke night.

I went out to one last night and along with my friend, we made people envious of our remarkable singing ability. Sorry, I lied... we can't sing for shit, but people are still somewhat in awe about our singing, because we just act like complete dickheads and make it entertaining for the crowd when we get called out for our turn.

But i'll leave the details about karaoke and my abilities to rock the socks off of people's cocks... another time. Right now, you're here for some bad porn... the worst porn I can find today.

And oddly enough, I didn't find this... I took the photo. You see, the reason why I opened this post with the whole karaoke spiel is the fact that last night, I ended up taking a photo of a local chick who was getting her boobs out. She is known in town as 'Mudbucket'... apparently because fucking her is like fucking a bucket of mud. But yeah, she's fucking horrible... so without further ado, the picture is after the jump and is NSFW.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 6

Sometimes you stumble across things that are horrific in nature, and make you want to cut out your eyes.

Today's porn that I found is like that.

Take note that I wasn't actually looking for anything for this segment, and just stumbled across this. It isn't a video and is just an animated gif, but i'm pretty sure that if I looked hard enough, I could find the full movie. I don't want to look for the full movie though because it looks bad enough as a short animation.

Since it is NSFW, it is after the jump.

The... Conan

Considering that the first post for this site was about the untalented hack Jimmy Fallon taking over Late Night, it isn't hard to tell that I'm a fan of Conan O'Brien. His late night show was the first one that I could actually be bothered watching, and that led me to watch and appreciate David Letterman, and then to a lesser extent, look at past shows of Johnny Carson.

So to see one of the funniest television personalities get screwed over by NBC and Jay Leno, who are notorious for doing this sort of shit, well... it just makes me fucking pissed.

The guy has taken over the Tonight Show, and is struggling to hold onto ratings because he has no lead-in whatsoever, because Jay Leno is also an untalented hack. If they gave him something else apart from Jay Leno to follow, then maybe he might be getting ratings similar to what Leno had been getting.

Now it seems Conan is leaving NBC and will be going to a different network. First Letterman, and now Conan. Wow, NBC are really bad at losing really talented people to other networks.

The... Show Some Tit

I've just finished watching Avatar, and have to say that the movie is pretty good and that is from watching a shitty copy that some dude filmed in a cinema in Germany. The special effects are great, the story is good, and the action is some of the best that James Cameron has put to film.

One thing that I don't understand though is that with all the realistic special effects that they made for the movie, they couldn't seem to create any realistic moving fabric for the loincloths of the Na'vi.

I know that sounds weird, but think about it.

You have these realistic depictions of this alien race, from head to toe, they are remarkably lifelike. The entire world that was created for the movie is living and breathing, and you could be mistaken to think that this entire world actually exists and Cameron just went there to film.

But then, the shit that the Na'vi wear doesn't really move off of their bodies. The loin cloths of the dudes don't move away from their junk which it would in real life, and especially with all their flying around and going at weird angles and shit. I mean, come on.

And then the women have all these ornamental things covering their boobs, and they don't move off of their tits at all. Seriously... watch a documentary with some African tribes people in it, and tell me how fucking well their ornamental shit and loincloths stay attached to their bodies. The picture below is the closest you probably get to see of any tit (you can sort of see her nipples), but when it gets closer, you see it is all just ornament shit.

If you're gonna make everything so fucking lifelike, then how about some tit? Hmm?

The... Seems He Hasn't Learnt Yet

Okay, seems that this happened a fair while ago I think (not sure)... and what do you know? The kid from the last post already received abusive phone calls and having his pictures put up on 4chan. I mean seriously, did he really not understand what he was getting into? I'm gonna have to look into this more, as this is brllnt!

In his latest video (well, as far as I know, below), he says he is going to take down m00t, the guy who created 4chan who also happens to be TIME Magazines 'Most Influential Person of the Year' award winner. How did some anonymous guy become the winner over people like Barack Obama and others of that ilk? Easy... he created 4chan, and 4chan made him the most influential person of the year by voting.

Update: Bwahahaha... this is fucking classic.

The... Kid Has Probably Learnt A Valuable Lesson

So I was viewing the internet last night, and I found this video of a 10/11 year old kid "challenging" 4chan. Last night the video only had about two thousand views, but as of my writing this, it is up over 34,000 views, with about six thousand comments all threatening this kid.

I don't think he realises what a stupid idea challenging 4chan is. Those guys will ruin his poor fragile mind (one that apparently supports god and scientology... wtf?). He believes that he will succeed in getting 4chan shut down and have someone named 'anonymous' arrested, all because he has god on his side.

Okay kid, here is a few pointers on what is going to happen:

1. One of the ten commandments is 'thou shalt not worship false idols'... so saying that you like Scientology which is a seperate religion which denounces god and so forth would probably be pissing off your 'god'. So I doubt 'god' is on your side... seeing as 'god' doesn't exist anyway.
   
2. The posters at 4chan are going to find your address, and most likely all details about your life thus far.
3. They will spread this information across the internet.
4. They will then proceed to order about 300 pizzas from a local pizza shop in your town, all in your name, and have them delivered to your door.
5. You will then have a massive bill in your name to pay up.
6. You will most likely then be arrested for suspicion of distributing child pornography and your families name will be tarnished forever.
7. Then they will photoshop someone pooing into your mouth.

Mark this as the day that joshchristian100 was put in the sites of the strangest collection of web posters ever formed.