The... Farewell To Blogger

With the migration to my own site almost complete, there is little point still coming to this version of the site. I will keep it here for posterity, so that people who may have always used the blogspot address can be guided to the new version of the site.

It will be odd not coming here to add content, but I suppose it was a necessary step as Blogger is quite limited. I am now working on making the new version of the site exactly how I want it, and so far, it is pretty much doing so.

It is also so much easier to write new posts, without fucking around with the layout and so forth for almost every post. And adding videos is infinitely easier, so I hope I can do a bit more content like that.

In all, goodbye to Blogger... and onwards with Wordpress.

THE ALMIGHTY CAPTAIN XENU!

The... Downtime

In the next few days, if the site has some downtime, then I can say that it is because I am finally moving the blog to my own hosting. I've had hosting for other sites for a number of years, and I simply made this blog on Blogger because I couldn't be bothered screwing around with any in-depth CMS like Wordpress.

The last time I had used Wordpress, I got the shits with it quickly because my site never looked the way I wanted it to, the massive amounts of spam were such a hassle and because I kind of just didn't like it at the time. It seems a lot more robust and there are ways to combat the spam now, so I thought it was time to make the move.

I'm currently working on a bit of a redesign, or more realistic... a design, since this is mostly just one of the basic Blogger templates that I hacked about a bit. So once that is done, the site will be fully switched over to Wordpress and everything will be sweet.

At the moment, I don't want my domain registration to change to my hosting service, and the thing that is confusing me is how I am going to be doing this. I have my domain hosted at GoDaddy, but the site hosting is at Dreamhost... so what do I do to make that work?

Everything about the site will be the same hopefully, but a few things might change, with some things going and some new things coming... so be patient with it please.

The... Hard Knock Life

Holy crap! I have never read any of the 'Little Orphan Annie' comic strips, but now I kind of wish I had if the last strip in it's now ended original run is any indication of how fucking insane it is.

To start, most people will know of the character via the musical film Annie. The poster for that movie is on the right if you have a hard time picturing it. It was famous for giving the world the songs 'Tomorrow' and 'It's A Hard Knock Life', which later went on to be mocked by Mike Myers in whatever Austin Powers movie it was mocked in.

But god damned. I thought it was just a story about a little girl being adopted by some rich dude, and the trials and tribulations of them as they do things and everyone ends up being happy.

Well... prepare to be blown away. The ending of the strip goes about like this:

Annie has recently been kidnapped by gangsters. They've killed people, and it shows the end result in the strip, so it looks like Annie is in trouble. Cut to some detectives or something telling Warbucks (the old rich dude), that she is most likely dead... and fed to sharks.

If that was the final week of the comic strip, THAT is how it would have ended. But the ending is far more awesome than that!

It goes to explain that Annie was saved by a war criminal known as 'The Butcher of the Balkans'... and he is contemplating killing her to make sure she doesn't talk to anyone about his location. But no... he can't do that to a child.

Damn.

What does he do? Well, he decides that wherever he goes, he will take her along with him. So instead of being kidnapped by gangsters... she is now being held captive by a fucking war criminal, who might kill her so he doesn't have the burden of her any longer.

This is almost as weird as Tin Tin wearing a monkey! But damn, I want to go and read some Annie!

The... Huh?

I've only just came across this video from the Glamour Magazine awards ceremony. What the fuck they are giving awards out for, I have no idea... but that still doesn't stop them from having Sir Patrick Stewart presenting an award.

What the fuck just happened? I always thought that Patrick Stewart had some sense of humour, but his bad attempts at insulting that fat guy (whom i've only ever seen in the latest episode of Doctor Who) are incredibly pitiful.

The Jonas Brothers? I can see your belly?

His creepy smirk after he made the comments do not help his cause either. What the hell drug is he on?

The... Foreigner

I was out the back today when I heard a sort of crashing sound in the shed. I opened it up to discover that a box of my old trading cards had fallen, and spilt out over the floor. Quite annoying.

Picking them up however, and I came across a card I do not remember ever having.

It's a trading card for the band Foreigner. I found this incredibly amusing, because... well. It's Foreigner. Why the hell do I have a Foreigner trading card? It seems to be from a set of music related cards, but for the life of me, I don't ever remember having any other cards... hell, I don't even remember having this one!

Another reason I found it amusing is because of when me and my friends used to regularly play trivia on a thursday night. Whenever there was a CD Music round, and a song came on that we weren't sure of the artist, we would simply put Foreigner... because about 80% of the time, it was the right answer. That is the golden rule... if you don't know who the artist is of the song you're listening to, it is either Foreigner or Phil Collins/Genesis. Trust me.

On another note, look at the unabashed coolness emitting from them. The long girly hair, the incredibly faggy clothes. It's like looking at one guy doing three guys. It is very gay.

Rock on, Foreigner. Rock on!

The... Stupid GPU

For the last few weeks, i've been having a problem with my computer overheating, or more accurately, my graphics card. It is generally okay during regular use of the computer, but whenever I have played a graphics heavy game that would usually not tax my graphics card... it goes apeshit and causes an error which has no real reason and/or solution.

Looking for a solution to this has been a mindfuck of a search, and I came up with nothing. Seems that most people using Windows 7 has this problem, and no one knows why. Many suggest that it is because of overheating the GPU, which seems to be what my problem was.

The reason my GPU was constantly overheating is because the fan attached to it to keep it cool was coming loose, and kept coming off of it's spindel. This keeps giving me the shits, to the extent that to keep the GPU cool enough to use the computer, i've had to have a small fan next to the computer blowing cool air onto it.

But now, I seem to have fixed my problem.

I turned my computer upside down. I figured that the fan couldn't come loose if gravity was stopping it from coming loose... and remarkably, the idea worked.

In fact, it is working so well that the temperature has dropped massively during gameplay of any of the games I previously played. Whereas I was getting up to 95 degrees on some intense scenes... I now get anywhere between 55 to 65.

Wow.

All of my problems could have been avoided if only the manufacturer built the fucking GPU with a fan on the fucking top, instead of on the bottom. Stupid fucking bastards.

The... Wooh, Blackhawks!

I haven't sat down and watched an NHL game for a long time, mainly because I never have the time, and also because whenever I do seem to catch a game on TV, it isn't the Chicago Blackhawks. I'm not really an avid follower, but I have always liked the Blackhawks since I first started playing NHL 95 back on the SEGA Genesis (or the Mega Drive where I actually live).

Anyway, I just saw that the Chicago Blackhawks have won the Stanley Cup for the first time since the '60-'61 season. Go the Blackhawks!

The... Karate Kid

Now, to start, I hate the fuck out of Will Smith's son and I think that the only reason why he is even in the movie business is because of his mother and father. He is annoying, and that is only from just looking at him. And I hate the fuck that they are making a semi-remake of the original movie which is such an 80's icon that it even has Bananarama music.

But... in saying that, the remake looks okay. If they named it something else, then it wouldn't have been such a problem and a lot of people might go see it that wouldn't since it is named Karate Kid.

Though, I am getting annoyed with people asking why the fuck the new Karate Kid movie is called that, when it is set in China and they practice Kung Fu there.

It is pretty simple to explain and it even did it in one of the first teaser trailers. The reason why it is called "The Karate Kid" is because that is what the bullies call him after he tries to defend himself the first time, and they derogatorily call him this, because what else would someone who is an ass and has practiced Kung Fu for most of their life call someone putting up their fists in defense?

I think it is a clever way to integrate the title. I wish they hadn't used the title to begin with, but at least they gave it a reasonable answer as to why they used it.

I still hate the kid though, he looks like a douche bag.

The... Lindsay Lovelace

So, there is apparently a biopic about to come out based upon the life of porn actress Linda Lovelace. She is most famous as the star of the 70's cult porn film, Deepthroat, from which the informant of Woodward and Bernstein of the whole Watergate fiasco got their dirt of Nixon.

The movie is about a woman who goes to the doctor because she cannot have an orgasm. What they find is that her clitoris is in her throat...

...that's right, you read that correct. Her clitoris is in her throat.

What follows is pretty much shot after shot of her ramming cocks down her throat. And this was the movie that was shown nationwide in the United States in most mainstream cinemas, and had hundreds of A-list celebrities at it's premiere. Weird.

Anyway, i'm bringing this up because of the actress that is going to be portraying Lovelace is the one, the only...

...which is going to be hilarious. Why is it going to be hilarious?

Mainly because of the fact that Linda Lovelace had one incredibly fucked up life, and that is saying a fair bit considering how fucked up pornstar's lives usually are. To start off, if this movie is going to follow her life according to her, she is going to be drugged and forced into pornography by her husband. And that is only the start.

Next up, she is going to fuck a dog.

Excuse me? Did you think I made a spelling mistake? Well... fuck you, I didn't! When I say she fucked a dog... I mean, she got down on all fours and let a dog fuck her. And there is video evidence of it as well. It was eventually released to the masses under some name like Beastly Desires 2 or something like it. I'm pretty sure i'm not exaggerating the number of it either.

She later went on to become a massive junkie, and then found god. After which she promptly died in a fiery car wreck.

So, let's recap some things we might see Lindsay do for this film:

1. Deepthroating.
2. Porn.
3. Having sex with a dog.
4. Doing drugs (I highly doubt she would ever really do drugs...........)
5. Become a massive junkie.
6. Die in a fiery car wreck.

She has done at least three on this list in her own life. So, no wonder why she is starring in a Lovelace biopic. Good casting.

The... Nightmare On Elm Street

I just finished watching the new 'Nightmare on Elm Street' movie with Jackie Earle Haley replacing Robert Englund in the role of Freddy Krueger. I was kind of expecting a decent movie, but nowhere near as classic as the original... and I am right... except for the bit about this movie being decent.

Every single memorable piece from this movie came directly from the original. And the thing is, the original did everything ten times better. This post from someone else's blog shows some of the shots from the trailer of the movie with scenes from the original.

As you can see, they redid a number of the iconic scenes from the first movie. Freddy coming through the wall to watch his victim being one that immediately jumped out at me as "why did they bother doing it with CGI?". The comparison from the other blog is on the right here.

Seriously, how bad does the effect look when done in CG compared to the original rubber wall trick? The original is creepy looking and it was real, whilst the new one looks tacky. It looks like a shitty version of the effect done in 'The Frighteners' where the reaper traveled through walls and shit.

I was expecting more, but this movie was just bad. I wish that I could get my bandwidth back... that's right, I didn't pay to see the movie. I wasted bandwidth that I could have used to download more porn.