The... Made A Little Girl Cry

So, the karaoke competition final was on last saturday. As seen in the previous post, the costumes that me and my friend were going to wear whilst we sang arrived. To say that the costumes went down well would be an understatement, as we got a bigger ovation than some people that could actually sing... which is all I wanted.

I knew we wouldn't win. I knew we can't sing for shit. To just be the most memorable people on the night is what I wanted, and we succeeded. We ran out for YMCA, to which I fucked up throughout the whole thing as I couldn't remember the order of the lyrics because the costume was too fucking hot and made me disoriented. 

The crowd cheered for that. But the night was ours when we did our signature version of the B-52's Rock Lobster. We danced like idiots, we had sweat dripping out of every pore. And then I dove off of the stage onto the ground (not exaggerating), and then ran into the crowd with a megaphone (which was hard because of the amount of people there and the small amount of space available), and whilst doing this I ran and stopped near a little girl... who cried like a little girl!

Imagine that!

I had to apologize once we were finished though. Apparently she enjoyed it when the giant bunny man was on the stage, but she was rather freaked out when he dove off of the stage and then essentially ran straight towards her screaming and flailing its arms about the place.

I should have the video shortly. My friends filmed it, and i'll be grabbing it off of them at some point to get a copy. Should be good, stay tuned!

The... Costumes Have Arrived

So, I received my costume for the karaoke final the other day, whilst my friend got his a few days beforehand. If you remember the preview image I did, then you'll be thrilled to see the images below.

The... Mega Powers

This post has nothing to do with one of the biggest team-ups of 80's wrestlers ever... this is actually about the karaoke final that me and my friend have made it into. We are planning to go all out for this thing to try and win (because we can't sing for shit) and the point of the title for this post is that I started writing Mega Phones, and then decided to write, Mega Powers. So, that is to clear that up.

Anyway, like I said, we are planning to go all out for this competition. We've got costumes ordered; I have just received the two mega phones that I ordered so we can go out into the crowd and sing instead of standing on stage like you're supposed to for karaoke; and finally we have at least one of the two songs selected that we shall be doing.

I whipped something up in photoshop to illustrate what I believe the event will look like, as those are the costumes we're wearing, and it is the song we will be doing:

And yes, I do expect it to look at least this gay. I expect it to get a whole lot more gayer looking at some point. But really, how much more gayer can it get than Gumby and the Easter Bunny singing Y.M.C.A for a karaoke competition with mega-phones whilst also dressed like the Village People? 

I don't think it is physically possible to get any more gayer than that.

The... How The Fuck Did We Win?

I just got back from a local karaoke competition in which people from the surrounding regions and Sydney were entered in it, as me and my friend got drawn on the first night of the comp.

Somehow, we just won our spot in the final. We can't really sing, we're okay, but alot of other people sing much better than we do. The only thing we do, is act like complete fucking tools. For instance, we've been known over the years at karaoke for a number of songs.

First off, we were popular because we did 'Gay Bar' by Electric Six and we just act like dicks in it, even going so far to dress like the dude from the video clip (if you haven't seen the clip, imagine Abraham Lincoln in exercise gear and/or bondage). Then we started to do alot of different rap songs, eventually doing 'Baby Got Back' by Sir Mixalot (who doesn't seem to be mixing much these days...), and doing it so well that we know the timing off by heart and know when a karaoke file is off by even a millisecond.

Now, we're known for 'Rock Lobster' by the B-52's, and we act like complete and utter dickheads in that one. My friend kicks me off the stage (if we're on one) or a speaker (if there is one on the stage) and then I crawl around on my back screaming and doing the chick parts from the song.

Tonight, we carried on a box full of invisible seatbelts so people could come up and get one to strap themselves in, and I dressed in my captains shirt as seen in the profile photo in the upper right of this site. Oh, and we used the name that we came up with for our duet name thing... Jarthew Patanus, which is a combination of our two names in a weird way.

Anyway, us doing these things have got us into the final, and now in the running to win $1800 if we come first, $800 if we come second or $400 if we come third. If we somehow win, we're going to start seeing if we can get gigs at the local pubs... because we are fuckwits.

There was a fat lady who complained about us winning. It was pretty funny.

I should have a video soon that my friends wife took from the back of the room (you fail to see me for most of the song), so I will put it up when I get it.

Oh, and when we arrived tonight... there was a dead lady in the parking lot.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 7

In my town, there isn't much to do to occupy yourself unless you stay in and watch a movie or play a game or something. However, karaoke is pretty big in this town and so a few nights a week, some of the pubs will have a regular karaoke night.

I went out to one last night and along with my friend, we made people envious of our remarkable singing ability. Sorry, I lied... we can't sing for shit, but people are still somewhat in awe about our singing, because we just act like complete dickheads and make it entertaining for the crowd when we get called out for our turn.

But i'll leave the details about karaoke and my abilities to rock the socks off of people's cocks... another time. Right now, you're here for some bad porn... the worst porn I can find today.

And oddly enough, I didn't find this... I took the photo. You see, the reason why I opened this post with the whole karaoke spiel is the fact that last night, I ended up taking a photo of a local chick who was getting her boobs out. She is known in town as 'Mudbucket'... apparently because fucking her is like fucking a bucket of mud. But yeah, she's fucking horrible... so without further ado, the picture is after the jump and is NSFW.

The... Drinking

I have begun drinking tonight. I've got half a bottle of Bourbon to consume before I leave this plane of existence for another where drinking is on the menu, and singing via a microphone is common place.

Drinking is a favourite past-time of mine, so much so that I have become quite proficient at it. It isn't an uncommon sight that when I hit the drink, that I drink a fair amount. I love my alcohol.

If I became totally uninterested in the world, chances are that I would probably slowly kill myself like the character of Ben in 'Leaving Las Vegas'. The likely-hood of drinking myself to death in Las Vegas whilst getting together with someone of the hotness magnitude of Elisabeth Shue is beyond astronomical though.

It'd be worth the shot though. Even if I end up falling through a glass table after sucking on her tits covered in whiskey. It would be totally worth the shot.