Showing posts with label awkward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awkward. Show all posts

03 March, 2010

The... Mega Powers

This post has nothing to do with one of the biggest team-ups of 80's wrestlers ever... this is actually about the karaoke final that me and my friend have made it into. We are planning to go all out for this thing to try and win (because we can't sing for shit) and the point of the title for this post is that I started writing Mega Phones, and then decided to write, Mega Powers. So, that is to clear that up.

Anyway, like I said, we are planning to go all out for this competition. We've got costumes ordered; I have just received the two mega phones that I ordered so we can go out into the crowd and sing instead of standing on stage like you're supposed to for karaoke; and finally we have at least one of the two songs selected that we shall be doing.

I whipped something up in photoshop to illustrate what I believe the event will look like, as those are the costumes we're wearing, and it is the song we will be doing:


And yes, I do expect it to look at least this gay. I expect it to get a whole lot more gayer looking at some point. But really, how much more gayer can it get than Gumby and the Easter Bunny singing Y.M.C.A for a karaoke competition with mega-phones whilst also dressed like the Village People? 

I don't think it is physically possible to get any more gayer than that.

03 November, 2009

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 3

I didn't really need to look that far for something weird today. Just did a quick search over at Cliphunter once again, using the term 'Halloween', in honour of the American holiday which has only just recently passed.

I originally put in the term 'horror', but that was surprisingly lame in it's results. Okay, let's go to the jump, because it is NSFW.

17 October, 2009

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 1

You may be thinking that the title of this post is odd. Well, you're quite right. It really fucking is.

Everyone has done it. They've looked at porn. Whether it be involuntary or you're actively looking for it, if you have been on the internet for more than a minute, you've seen some porn... and in many cases, it was probably bad porn.

So that is the goal of this post, I will take a look around on the internet and find some bad porn. I know you want to watch it, because everyone is compelled to watch bad porn when they see it advertised. I'm not going out to find the most disgusting things I can find, just the worst somewhat normal porn you can find. So, bondage shit will most likely appear numerous times for this soon-to-be regular segment.

And as it is porn, it is most likely going to be NSFW, so these videos will always appear after the jump.

13 October, 2009

The... Tragic Sex

So yeah, I found a pretty funny website yesterday and thought i'd add my own little story to it. The site is called Tragic Sex, and it essentially is a depository for people telling about bad or strange sexual encounters. And like I said above, I decided to add my own:

A few months ago, I had broken up with my partner of 3 years. I ended up relying on a mutual female friend of ours to help me through it, who had only just broken up with her partner of the last 3 years as well. At first, we were just hanging out, watching horror movies and getting drunk together for about a month or two. Then, after getting drunk one night we ended up in bed together where we started making out.

From there, we started having sex. It wasn’t all that good, but it was average. The end result was that I didn’t end up finishing, mainly because of me being as drunk as I was and me being incredibly tired. I left the next morning, and things continued on as normal, like it didn’t happen.

Another night about a month on down the track, we were drinking again. This time, we were drunk, and decided to watch some porn. So we do. At one point, I am almost finished my drink, so I jokingly say that when I finish my drink I was going to leave before I ended up doing something to her. Moments later, she goes to the toilet. I down the last bit of bourbon that I’m drinking, head to the kitchen to leave my glass on the table, when she walks in from the bathroom, naked. She just giggles and says I wasn’t supposed to be there… I suppose she was going to surprise me or something.

So, we start making out, and I pull my shorts down and put her onto a beanbag that is on the ground, and start fucking her. The porn is still on the TV, and the music is still playing. The music at the time of us fucking happening to be John Williamson, which was weird. So here we are fucking, on the beanbag, and then on the hard wood floor. We both get into it a fair bit more than last time, as this time we don’t have “hey, I’m fucking my friend,” going on in our heads. We’re just fucking.

We keep going, and she’s getting close to cumming. She pushes me onto the hard floor and starts grinding herself into me for a few minutes, but can’t cum. Once again, I didn’t finish either, because of the amount of alcohol I had drank. We get up and start getting dressed, when I notice she is crying.

I ask her what it is, and she starts going on about how she can’t make me cum. I tell her it was the alcohol, but she believes it was just her. I ended up leaving, with my friend crying her eyes out over not making me cum again. For the next week or two, she gets upset whenever we talk, either over the phone or in person. It’s either “I’m fat,” or “I’m ugly,” which she is neither.

So yeah, after that we don’t really talk now. It’s really way too awkward. I totally know why they say not to have sex with friends now, because if you don’t cum, they go bat-shiat insane and think they are fat and ugly, and don’t know how to make you cum.


And yes, the above story is true. I ended up hooking up with a friend, I made her cry. The whole not talking to her anymore thing goes a bit deeper, but that story is essentially the beginning of the whole no talking, along with another time that something almost happened. But yeah, I totally didn't expect it to be up on the site so soon, but that's what you get for making your friend cry. Enjoy!

29 August, 2009

The... Itching

So, it is a few days since the last post and my crotch is now significantly less itchy...

Hooray!

Thought I'd share that since I don't have anything else to write about.

21 August, 2009

The... New Girl

So, i've met a girl in the last few days and she seems to be a really nice one. Been hanging out the last few days when we both have a bit of free time, and we're really clicking. She also gets along with my friend's wife, as they apparently already knew each other.

That bit kind of weirded me out. I was hoping they would get along, but they got along extremely good. And she also went to school with one of my other friend's girlfriends. So, it was like a big girl love-fest when we went out the other day.

I was the only guy there, so it was a bit awkward... but I toughed it out.

I have to say that she really is a great girl. She is nice, she can make me laugh, and she is a terrific singer. To top it off, she deep throats, she swallows, and she is a squirter. The holy triumvirate of a highly-sexed sexual partner that a lot of guys want.

And I have it! Ahahahaha!