The... Karate Kid

Now, to start, I hate the fuck out of Will Smith's son and I think that the only reason why he is even in the movie business is because of his mother and father. He is annoying, and that is only from just looking at him. And I hate the fuck that they are making a semi-remake of the original movie which is such an 80's icon that it even has Bananarama music.

But... in saying that, the remake looks okay. If they named it something else, then it wouldn't have been such a problem and a lot of people might go see it that wouldn't since it is named Karate Kid.

Though, I am getting annoyed with people asking why the fuck the new Karate Kid movie is called that, when it is set in China and they practice Kung Fu there.

It is pretty simple to explain and it even did it in one of the first teaser trailers. The reason why it is called "The Karate Kid" is because that is what the bullies call him after he tries to defend himself the first time, and they derogatorily call him this, because what else would someone who is an ass and has practiced Kung Fu for most of their life call someone putting up their fists in defense?

I think it is a clever way to integrate the title. I wish they hadn't used the title to begin with, but at least they gave it a reasonable answer as to why they used it.

I still hate the kid though, he looks like a douche bag.

The... Lindsay Lovelace

So, there is apparently a biopic about to come out based upon the life of porn actress Linda Lovelace. She is most famous as the star of the 70's cult porn film, Deepthroat, from which the informant of Woodward and Bernstein of the whole Watergate fiasco got their dirt of Nixon.

The movie is about a woman who goes to the doctor because she cannot have an orgasm. What they find is that her clitoris is in her throat...

...that's right, you read that correct. Her clitoris is in her throat.

What follows is pretty much shot after shot of her ramming cocks down her throat. And this was the movie that was shown nationwide in the United States in most mainstream cinemas, and had hundreds of A-list celebrities at it's premiere. Weird.

Anyway, i'm bringing this up because of the actress that is going to be portraying Lovelace is the one, the only...

...which is going to be hilarious. Why is it going to be hilarious?

Mainly because of the fact that Linda Lovelace had one incredibly fucked up life, and that is saying a fair bit considering how fucked up pornstar's lives usually are. To start off, if this movie is going to follow her life according to her, she is going to be drugged and forced into pornography by her husband. And that is only the start.

Next up, she is going to fuck a dog.

Excuse me? Did you think I made a spelling mistake? Well... fuck you, I didn't! When I say she fucked a dog... I mean, she got down on all fours and let a dog fuck her. And there is video evidence of it as well. It was eventually released to the masses under some name like Beastly Desires 2 or something like it. I'm pretty sure i'm not exaggerating the number of it either.

She later went on to become a massive junkie, and then found god. After which she promptly died in a fiery car wreck.

So, let's recap some things we might see Lindsay do for this film:

1. Deepthroating.
2. Porn.
3. Having sex with a dog.
4. Doing drugs (I highly doubt she would ever really do drugs...........)
5. Become a massive junkie.
6. Die in a fiery car wreck.

She has done at least three on this list in her own life. So, no wonder why she is starring in a Lovelace biopic. Good casting.