The... Foreigner

I was out the back today when I heard a sort of crashing sound in the shed. I opened it up to discover that a box of my old trading cards had fallen, and spilt out over the floor. Quite annoying.

Picking them up however, and I came across a card I do not remember ever having.

It's a trading card for the band Foreigner. I found this incredibly amusing, because... well. It's Foreigner. Why the hell do I have a Foreigner trading card? It seems to be from a set of music related cards, but for the life of me, I don't ever remember having any other cards... hell, I don't even remember having this one!

Another reason I found it amusing is because of when me and my friends used to regularly play trivia on a thursday night. Whenever there was a CD Music round, and a song came on that we weren't sure of the artist, we would simply put Foreigner... because about 80% of the time, it was the right answer. That is the golden rule... if you don't know who the artist is of the song you're listening to, it is either Foreigner or Phil Collins/Genesis. Trust me.

On another note, look at the unabashed coolness emitting from them. The long girly hair, the incredibly faggy clothes. It's like looking at one guy doing three guys. It is very gay.

Rock on, Foreigner. Rock on!

The... Jimmy Fallon Did Something Funny?! + The Muppets?!

You read the title right. What the fuck is happening to the world, when Jimmy Fallon does something funny instead of the regular suckitude that he is known for?

I am talking about something that recently appeared on his show (which I still can't believe is HIS show, and which I still haven't watched since I turned off the first episode).

Specifically, a bit where he portrayed Neil Young and sang a cover of the theme to 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air'. Surprisingly, it isn't that bad, and I would totally buy a single if Neil Young were to ever actually do this song... as opposed to downloading it like I have pretty much every single piece of music I have ever gotten, as I don't like buying music... buying music is for morons.

Also, I've come across this video of The Muppets, singing a version of Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody', and it is pretty fucking awesome.

I absolutely loved Animal's part. I would have sent the link to my brother, except for the fact that it has Crazy Harry (pictured right) in a few scenes, who my brother absolutely hates because the character used to freak him out as a kid.

Seriously, look at that fucker! He is a creepy bastard, who blows shit up and cackles like a drugged up bat-shiat crazy fuckhat.

Apparently the character doesn't get used that often anymore because of 9/11, as they say blowing things up even jokingly isn't that fun anymore. I suppose something good came from the whole 9/11 thing that Bush set up. What?!

The... Wonder Pets Are Pissing Me Off

I have my kids in a pretty good routine, where they get time to play, eat and watch some cartoons and shit. I always have the TV on Nick Jr because of this, and as a result I get to learn and know hundreds of shitty songs with immense accuracy.

I admit to occasionally getting the 'Dora the Explorer' theme stuck in my head, or some other monotonous piece of shit song in there. But the one that just absolutely pisses me off is 'The Wonder Pets'.

I hate this fucking cartoon with a passion. I FUCKING HATE IT!

It is so fucking annoying, that I wish that the turtle, duck or whatever the fuck the other thing is would pull out a gun and blow my brains out. It is so gratingly repetitive that you know the exact storyline of each episode from the opening credits:

Some stupid animal gets stuck or hurt, the wonder pets phone rings, they get in their little flying boat and then go save the stupid animal with teamwork... because what's gonna work? TEAM-WORK!

Each episode contains the exact same fucking song, it is so excruciatingly fucked. At least some of the other shitty shows on the station change SOME lyrics every now and then to fit the context of the episode... but I suppose if the episode is the exact same every time, you don't really need to change it to fix the context of the episode... since it DOESN'T CHANGE.

The... Mothersbaugh

I've had my kids the last few days, and they've been pretty good. Most of the time, they've been quite content to sit still and have been watching a lot of Nick Jr.

Which means, I get to either watch or hear a lot of Nick Jr.

I swear, the whole line-up of shows makes me think of DEVO. Constantly. The music is either made by Mark Mothersbaugh, or inspired by his work, or he is on the show that is currently on.

It was quite strange the first time I spotted him drawing on 'Yo Gabba Gabba!'

My kids were watching him intently as he started to draw some creature, the type of which I cannot recall... but he then drew a flute and the drawing started to play the flute and jump about the place (which reminded me of "Cactus Chef playing 'We Didn't Start the Fire' on a flute" from Late Night with Conan O'Brien). Obviously his mind is still warped from the old DEVO days and this has translated to the projects that he is involved in...

...which is good to see. That's exactly what kids need these days. Some good old 1970's/1980's insanity.

By the way, I found the Lego man from here. Quite awesome indeed.

The... Breakin'

Over the last few days, i've been scouring the internet downloading things from my childhood. Music, video games, television shows and movies mostly.

One of the things that I am happy to get a hold of, is some of the music from Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. This movie has been a favourite of mine from before I can remember, and listening to the music unattached from the movie is awesome.

I was just sitting here, reading stuff on Wikipedia when all of a sudden the next song on my playlist in Winamp is Ice T - Combat. It kicked all sorts of ass, but I have to say I was disappointed that there isn't someone yelling "TKO" at the end.

Is there anything in this world more awesome than Breakin' 2? I highly doubt it, as evidenced by the fact that everyone uses it's subtitle whenever a sequel to a popular movie is announced. Most people don't even know where the hell the whole Electric Boogaloo thing comes from... THAT is how awesome the movie is.

I've gone mad recently with the shit i'm downloading. I've started downloading a 200GB collection of the classic series of Doctor Who. That is, all the surviving serials, along with recreations of episodes missing. Already watched the first part of 'The Mutants', more commonly known as 'The Daleks'... quite awesome.

I've also had a little bit of money recently, and decided to buy a DVD that I spotted. That DVD?

Dark Angel.

I know, it sounds like i've gone and turned into a lamer, buying a copy of the bad TV series starring Jessica Alba, but fret not... this is no lame TV series.

You see, Dark Angel is the alternate title of a movie starring Dolph Lundgren, which was released in the USA under the infinitely stupid title 'I Come In Peace', which is a line that the main villian constantly says. In fact, it might be the only thing he says, apart from the odd grunt or weird hiss. The villian is in fact played by Matthias Hues who is one of those "hey, it's that guy" type of actors. You don't know their names, but when you see them, you just KNOW who they are.


But anyway, like I said... I bought this movie. Is it a good movie? Barely. It's pretty predictable. A cop loses his partner in a drug bust gone wrong, gets assigned a new partner who is a stickler for the rules, investigates shit, gets caught in the ministrations of an intergalactic drug dealer, becomes friends with new partner... and so on.

You know, typical 80's cop drama with awesome one-liners.

"Argghhhhhh... I come in peace."
"And you go in pieces, asshole."

Brllnt.

The... New

Finally I am back online, and with a new computer to kick about the place with. First off, i'm gonna comment on the whole "Michael Jackson is dead" stuff that is currently strewn about the media.

1. He was a very talented man, and made alot of really good songs.
2. He should have died back in the late 1980's.

Think about what I just said. He SHOULD HAVE died in the 80's, before he started to become the freak that he eventually turned into. Instead of people remembering him for the music that he leaves behind, alot of people are going to remember him as the formerly black man who turned into a white woman thing who liked to "play" with kids.

Can anyone deny that they don't think of the really strange shit that he had done for the past 15-20 years whenever they hear his name mentioned, even if a little bit? No, you can't.

RIP Michael Jackson from the 1980's... you will be missed.