The... Worst Porn I Had On My Hard Drive

I wanted to add this to my continuing series of 'worst porn', but to be fair... I already had this entry on my computer. So, this isn't an official entry to the series, but a side dish if you'd like to call it that. NSFW after the jump.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 8

Holy shit! I think I have found one of the creepiest pieces of porn I think I'm ever going to see.

Ask someone to name something that they are afraid of, and alot of people might happen to say 'spiders'. Well, how about watching a spider-lady thing totally fucking a dude, and blowing him and everything? Oh shit yeah, that's exactly what i've found. After the jump, and NSFW.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 7

In my town, there isn't much to do to occupy yourself unless you stay in and watch a movie or play a game or something. However, karaoke is pretty big in this town and so a few nights a week, some of the pubs will have a regular karaoke night.

I went out to one last night and along with my friend, we made people envious of our remarkable singing ability. Sorry, I lied... we can't sing for shit, but people are still somewhat in awe about our singing, because we just act like complete dickheads and make it entertaining for the crowd when we get called out for our turn.

But i'll leave the details about karaoke and my abilities to rock the socks off of people's cocks... another time. Right now, you're here for some bad porn... the worst porn I can find today.

And oddly enough, I didn't find this... I took the photo. You see, the reason why I opened this post with the whole karaoke spiel is the fact that last night, I ended up taking a photo of a local chick who was getting her boobs out. She is known in town as 'Mudbucket'... apparently because fucking her is like fucking a bucket of mud. But yeah, she's fucking horrible... so without further ado, the picture is after the jump and is NSFW.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 6

Sometimes you stumble across things that are horrific in nature, and make you want to cut out your eyes.

Today's porn that I found is like that.

Take note that I wasn't actually looking for anything for this segment, and just stumbled across this. It isn't a video and is just an animated gif, but i'm pretty sure that if I looked hard enough, I could find the full movie. I don't want to look for the full movie though because it looks bad enough as a short animation.

Since it is NSFW, it is after the jump.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 5

Today's entry is a little different, as it isn't a single video. In my everlasting quest to find some strange and weird porn for this segment, I have found a number of porn search engines that deal with the subject matter, such as Cliphunter.com and AskJolene.com.

Now I have found another, which helpfully categorizes searches for popular terms. Want a video that features Sauna's? It has a category. And so on.

So, going through this helpful directory of categories, I came across what I believe to be the crowning achievement of 'Worst Porn':

Amputee Porn. There is only a few videos in the listing (including the video I had seen previously and meant  to include in this segment), but at least it is a start. We can't shame the countless amputee women in the world into not wanting to make porn. They should be free to do so, right?

The... Gripe: Media Codec Error

I've been using torrents to download movies and television shows for quite a while now, and if there is one thing that still annoys the absolute fuck out of me, it is getting a fake file.

I especially hate the ones that are the same rough filesize of other versions of the movie/tv show, but it is a ten second video stating "Media Codec Error: Use Windows Media Player"... really? I downloaded Media Player Classic to avoid using that piece of shit memory hog of a program.

Hell, getting a fake file through any downloading medium pisses me off. Why the fuck do people do it, as it isn't funny unless you have an incredibly fucked up sense of humour... but what gets me most about the whole fake file thing, is that people download the fucker and then continue to seed them instead of deleting the file!

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

Why add to the stupidness, by supporting a file that you've downloaded that is fake. I wish that I had the Atom's power, to go down through the phone lines and then appear in some douchebags room and punch them in the face. I think i've already stated my desire to have that power before... somewhere on the site.

I just tried downloading a copy of episode ten of 'Stargate Universe', only to get the above mentioned file, and then discovered that the show had a week off this week and that the next episode comes out on December 4th. Fucking hell.

If I knew that, then I wouldn't have wasted 350MB of bandwidth on shit.

So fuck you assholes that make fake files. Fuck you assholes that help propagate fake files. Fuck you Saniel.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 4

Hey, i'm back with another edition of 'Worst Porn I Can Find Today'... and this one is just a treat. This video has all the ingredients for a video you just cannot imagine being made.

The entire fact that this video is an amateur video, makes it go to another whole level, because you realise that the girl in the video isn't getting paid to do this. Do what? After the jump where we go NSFW.

The... Series of Personal Challenges: Cigarette

I've been offline the last few days after I discovered that I had gone over my bandwidth limit by about 1.5GB. So, i'm pretty sure that it is going to cost me roughly an extra $200-$300, which sucks ass.

Anyway, this is what i've done since the last post. A new entry into my Series of Personal Challenges.

This time, i'm trying to put a cigarette out on my hand. I got the idea at the pub during karaoke, so I got my friend to film me whilst I try to put a cigarette my girlfriend was smoking, out on my hand.

I also have to admit that this was the second take of the video, so that is why you hear my girlfriend say a certain line during the video.

The... Series of Personal Challenges: Auto Fellation

Here's a new one for you, the first in what I hope to be a series (duh!) of personal challenges. What this series entails, is I will film myself trying to see if I can do certain random things, and either succeeding or failing at them. Me and a friend came up with the idea last night at the pub, and we somehow came up with this first challenge.

Can I auto-fellate myself?

That is the challenge. For those that do not know what auto-fellation is, it is essentially the official term for trying to suck your own cock... bizarre how there are people who can do this feat, but even more bizarre is the fact that they even want to try.

So, enjoy!

Check back in every now and then to see if there any new videos in the series, as I am planning to do this on occasion. DO IT!

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 3

I didn't really need to look that far for something weird today. Just did a quick search over at Cliphunter once again, using the term 'Halloween', in honour of the American holiday which has only just recently passed.

I originally put in the term 'horror', but that was surprisingly lame in it's results. Okay, let's go to the jump, because it is NSFW.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 2

I told you i'd find something worse than the entry from the other day, and holy shit did I find a worse entry. The video I have for you today is a bit different I must say. I was searching for something else that I had remembered spotting previously, but found this instead.

Now, this one doesn't embed, so I am providing a screenshot and a link to the page holding the video. Both are provided, after the jump and I must say it is probably NSFW.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 1

You may be thinking that the title of this post is odd. Well, you're quite right. It really fucking is.

Everyone has done it. They've looked at porn. Whether it be involuntary or you're actively looking for it, if you have been on the internet for more than a minute, you've seen some porn... and in many cases, it was probably bad porn.

So that is the goal of this post, I will take a look around on the internet and find some bad porn. I know you want to watch it, because everyone is compelled to watch bad porn when they see it advertised. I'm not going out to find the most disgusting things I can find, just the worst somewhat normal porn you can find. So, bondage shit will most likely appear numerous times for this soon-to-be regular segment.

And as it is porn, it is most likely going to be NSFW, so these videos will always appear after the jump.

The... GIS Of The Day: Monkey Jesus

I was trying to think of something for today's GIS, and I just started throwing random words together. That is when I came up with the search term for today... which is 'monkey jesus'.

Why is it that? Why not?

MONKEY JESUS

monkey man: I wonder if he is going to let the ATHF swim in his pool...


George Michael - Jesus To A: Sweet monkey jesus! It's the dude from Wham and those toilets...


This is not about Jesus: What the hell is the deal with this drawing? Are the other monkeys scared of the Monkey Jesus or something? It reminds me of communist propaganda or something.


Monkey Jesus smooches Shelly: The chick in pink reminds of that girl from Lazy Town... and yes, I would probably fuck her.


"Jesus said: I have cast fire: I want to hear the rest of the monkey assassin's bible quote.

I think that will probably do for today. There are still a fair few strange ones that I missed.

The... GIS Of The Day: Unhappy

I was unhappy with the GIS Of The Day earlier, because it sucked absolute ass in the end. Plus, I wanted to muck about with the improved editor that has apparently been added to blogger... which I don't remember seeing at all. How long it has been here... I don't know.

Anyway, let us move on. I want to use a better word, and what word is better than the word which describes how I felt about the earlier post:

UNHAPPY

Unhappy: What the fuck? It is apparently a little robotic head thing... of a dog person... thing?!


An unhappy 'puss in boots': No shit it's unhappy... and a bad pun.


Unhappy customers are a fact: If it is a fact, then maybe your business sucks ass?


A Very Unhappy Family: It is me, or is this kind of creepy?

Okay, I think this will do it. A lot more strange...

Wooh... thingy: 2aum37qhpe

The... GIS Of The Day: Random

Okay, so I am bored.

I thought i'd have a go at something I once did at a very old site of mine that was pretty fun to do. A Google Image Search, using a completely random word that I come across during the day or whatever... and then I will post the strangest pictures or links to interesting looking pages from the first 5-10 pages. Not sure how many pages I will do... most likely only 5.

Anyway, a few guidelines:

1. Each page in GIS contains 21 images. At least 5 pages should be roughly 105 images to find something stupid.
2. Pornography will have a NSFW image to click on to see the image proper.
3. It is what I find to be strange or interesting... not anyone else.

And we're on our way!

RANDOM

Random Fact Generator: I wonder what kind of random fact generator it is?


Random Natural Acts: This accompanying text gave me a bad mental image.


14 is a random number t-shirts: A bit of a random idea for a t-shirt.


Fein 6-inch random-orbit: I have no idea what any of that accompanying text means.

Sadly, that is the best I could do with the word 'random' from the first 5 pages. Beyond that, there was even more shit. Pretty bad if your ask me. It was nothing but a crapload of charts and statistical looking things.

What a way to start off. Four images of utter crapness.

Yay!

The... Gripe: Sliders

So, I was walking up the road to get a copy of todays newspaper when for some reason I began to think of the 90's tv show, Sliders. You know the one, the fat kid from 'Stand By Me' is an uber-genius and discovers a method to travel between parallel worlds that he ends up calling 'Sliding'.

Anyway, I was thinking about the whole premise of the show, that they're trying to get home after the sliding thing goes wrong causing their device to open a portal at intervals of differing times. So one world they might have two days to wait, or another might be as little as two minutes.

The first episode of the second season ended with them landing on a world that could possibly be theirs after receiving it's coordinates from an alternate fat kid, and they had about a minute to discern whether they were on their world or not.

The newspaper in the letterbox doesn't give any clues, as on this world OJ Simpson was tried for a double murder, the Raiders are playing out of Oakland and the Cleveland Indians actually made the World Series.

Could that much have happened since they left? Well, gee, I don't know. Maybe they need something more tangible to figure out if they are on their world.

So, how did they try to figure out if they were on their world? Well, you see... the front gate of the fat kid's house was always squeaky on his world. And luckily, they arrived out the front of his house. Take a look:

For those that couldn't be fucked watching it, i'll explain. He tests it out... and alas, it isn't squeaky... which means... this can't be their world.

They decide to slide on.

After they've slid away, his mother walks out with the gardener who shows her that he has fixed the squeak with a bit of oil.

Wow.

They just moved on from their world because they couldn't really be fucked to check for anything else apart from a fucking gate.

This seriously was one of their major tests throughout the show as to whether they were on their own world or not.

"Is the gate squeaky?"

If the gate was squeaky, they would usually try to settle into "their" lives until they realise that something isn't right... like the President is a Nazi, or something along those lines.

One thing that I find a bit stupid, is the fact that they just keep sliding like it is their only way to get home.

Why doesn't the fat kid who is an uber-genius who invented the intra-dimensional sliding system in his fucking basement sit the fuck down on a really good world, and build a new fucking device? He surely must be able to build it again, seeing as he could have the resources of a rich blues singer at his disposal, and he has the fucking Professor along with him to give him a hand.

Not to mention... he might have a parallel version of himself who could offer a hand with building the fucking thing.

Really. Why the fuck slide?