The... Perfect Murder?

I've been thinking for a while about how I would get away with a murder. I started thinking about this a few years ago, when me and my friends read a story about someone in our town being murdered.

It was also kind of odd because the people who were murdered were the parents of one of our friends... and technically, it wasn't a double-murder... it was a murder-suicide. The father murdered the mother after finding out she had apparently cheated on him.

But that is another story for another day.

Like I said, we thought up a way to get away with a murder, which also implicates someone you hate. You want to hear it? Well here it is: the perfect murder.

1. In the lead-up to the initial act, cause an altercation between the target and the person you shall be framing.
2. Now that there is an existing fued between the two, meet the target in some random place... preferably the bush so that blood isn't ruining your carpet or whatever.
   
3. Stab them repeatedly. Be sure to be wearing gloves.
   
4. Wrap their body in a plastic sheet or some other novelty sheet thing...
5. Put their body into your trunk or car or whatever.
6. Drive to the house of the person you are framing. Be sure to be wearing a balaclava.
   
7. Drag the body to the front door, knock on the door.
8. When the person you are framing opens the door, shove the bloody knife into their hand and throw the dead person at them.
9. Leg it.
10. (Optional) If you have access to a koala and didn't have access to gloves, allow the koala access to the crime scene. A koala is the only creature in nature that has fingerprints similar to a human... which will fuck with the forensics.

Genius? Yes?

If you think it isn't, then tell me why? Do you really think that the police will believe the story of this person who has a dead person on their front doorstep, who is holding the murder weapon, and had some previous animosity towards the person?

No. "Hello Police? Ah yes... some crazy man threw this dead body at me and handed me a bloody knife."

Sure he did.

The... Urge To Kill

I'm pretty sure that at some point in the near future I am going to kill someone.

My kids have broken down my resolve over the last 18 hours or so, that I just want to hurt someone really badly. They woke up at 2am, and haven't slept since. One of them shat in their play-room, and they've generally been pissing me off more and more as the day goes on.

Not to mention when I change them, they keep kicking me in the nuts. I hate being kicked in the nuts... but constantly and repeatedly... is not my idea of fun.

For those wanting kids... you fucking idiots. Rip out your testicles before it is too late, and then run far away from them after you've fed them to a dog. Run away as fast as you can. And then punch your missus for even suggesting the idea to you.