The... My Humour Isn't Accessible

Since I uploaded the Conan VS Leno video, I have tried to do other things on my YouTube account that I thought people would enjoy. Considering one features ninjas, and the other features TRON... I thought they'd get a few hits... which I completely forgot to add here the other day.

Especially the TRON one since the new trailer for the sequel was coming out within a day or two of me putting my video up, and I was hoping to catch a few views from that.

Instead, they've barely got any. Why?

Is my sense of humour so clouded and inaccessible to others that people aren't getting the humour in the videos I have uploaded? I think my ideas are funny and so do some of my friends who have a similar taste of humour to me, so maybe that is it.

I come up with these ideas and run with them, and they just aren't funny to the majority of people who inhabit the internet.

Well damnit! I'm going to crack this stupid thing that they calls the interweb, and when I do... I will come after you, you cunt.

Uhhh.... sorry.

The... Not Fucking Ninjas

I made a video the other day that i've now posted on YouTube, where i'm going off about some scenes in the American Ninja movies. I had been meaning to do the video for a while, and even took the scenes from the movies I talk about and show a fair while ago now, but never got around to actually doing the other bit because my microphone was fucked.

In the end, I ended up just filming myself with my phone and put it together with the footage. Hopefully it will get as popular as my last video, but I doubt it will. Ninjas don't seem to be as cool these days in the interweb. Take a look below.

The... Mr Coco Part 2

I thought i'd write a second post about my recent video regarding the Late Night Wars, as it has become slightly popular the last few days. At present it has gone up to 130,000 views, mainly because it was put up on the Time magazine website in an article about the 10 best things about the war, and was the first entry.

I've noticed that there is also another translation video up (which I won't link to), that uses a few of the same ideas that I used, naming Conan as Coco and Leno as Lennon, but it does it really poorly. You can't see the text at most times because they chose to do the subtitles in white, without any stroke or shadow to it whatsoever, so when the screen goes white, you can't read at all.

The person who made it commented in the comments thread (when I saw it, they had made about 8 of the 13 comments themselves), that CNN "called" because they liked their video. But a quick search with their video title and CNN simply shows an iReport thing (which anyone can do, the trick is to get it vetted allowing CNN to use the item on air), where the person describes what they did.

You know, I hate to be a jerk, but saying that CNN called about your video and then all it is, is that you've just done some thing for a part of the CNN website that anyone can do... well, it's kind of bad form. Right?

That's like me saying that some porn website called because they liked my Auto Fellation challenge video and then all I did is post it on RedTube or something... well, that's bad form. It's the same sort of thing, isn't it?

The... Mr Coco

For those following the whole late night stuff that is happening, you will now know that Jay Leno is being moved back to 'The Tonight Show' and Conan O'Brien has been paid roughly $30 million, and is allowed to move to another network, most likely being FOX.

Conan showed on his show a video that has popped up on the internet showing a Taiwanese news report (though it has been incorrectly attributed to the Chinese), where they have made a 3D re-enactment detailing the whole story of what is happening.

The problem is that it is in Taiwanese... so alot of English speaking people cannot understand it in the proper context of what it is, because it involves Conan turning into the Incredible Hulk, and other things of that nature.

Well, if you've seen the video and been wondering what it says, then don't worry about not understanding Taiwanese... as I have graciously translated it into English for the public at large.

My god that video is insane. I love it. I like the way that it is utterly insane, yet it completely tells you everything that you want to know about the situation... well, until it devolves into the respected parties turning into superheroes and fighting physically that is.

Update: So, the video is now around 60,000 views, easily making it my most popular video to date. It was only at about 11,000 yesterday when it suddenly got a massive jump in views. I've now found out that the views are mostly from Time.com, where it was featured in a 'Top 10 Moments from the Late Night Wars' segment and was embedded on the site instead of the original video.

So that is awesome. Thank you Time.

The... Kid Has Probably Learnt A Valuable Lesson

So I was viewing the internet last night, and I found this video of a 10/11 year old kid "challenging" 4chan. Last night the video only had about two thousand views, but as of my writing this, it is up over 34,000 views, with about six thousand comments all threatening this kid.

I don't think he realises what a stupid idea challenging 4chan is. Those guys will ruin his poor fragile mind (one that apparently supports god and scientology... wtf?). He believes that he will succeed in getting 4chan shut down and have someone named 'anonymous' arrested, all because he has god on his side.

Okay kid, here is a few pointers on what is going to happen:

1. One of the ten commandments is 'thou shalt not worship false idols'... so saying that you like Scientology which is a seperate religion which denounces god and so forth would probably be pissing off your 'god'. So I doubt 'god' is on your side... seeing as 'god' doesn't exist anyway.
   
2. The posters at 4chan are going to find your address, and most likely all details about your life thus far.
3. They will spread this information across the internet.
4. They will then proceed to order about 300 pizzas from a local pizza shop in your town, all in your name, and have them delivered to your door.
5. You will then have a massive bill in your name to pay up.
6. You will most likely then be arrested for suspicion of distributing child pornography and your families name will be tarnished forever.
7. Then they will photoshop someone pooing into your mouth.

Mark this as the day that joshchristian100 was put in the sites of the strangest collection of web posters ever formed.

The... Captain Jack Vs Shark Attack 3

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you might have read about the movie I consider to be the greatest movie ever (which I have still not managed to watch), simply because of the title and the DVD cover: that movie being of course, Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus.

 Well, there is also another movie out there in the wilderness of crappy B-grade movies that features a large shark that is infamous across the internet because of it's cheesy special effects. And when I mean cheesy, I mean fucking cheesy! Take a look:

What I find remarkable about Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is the fact that I spotted John Barrowman as the lead character, Ben. For those that might not know who John Barrowman is, he is the actor that portrays Captain Jack Harkness on both Doctor Who and Torchwood.

Really.

I want to see Captain Jack go up against a shark now. Let's see if he can survive being eaten by a shark. And whilst we're at it, make it a giant prehistoric shark. That would be an awesome show to watch.

The... Gripe: Media Codec Error

I've been using torrents to download movies and television shows for quite a while now, and if there is one thing that still annoys the absolute fuck out of me, it is getting a fake file.

I especially hate the ones that are the same rough filesize of other versions of the movie/tv show, but it is a ten second video stating "Media Codec Error: Use Windows Media Player"... really? I downloaded Media Player Classic to avoid using that piece of shit memory hog of a program.

Hell, getting a fake file through any downloading medium pisses me off. Why the fuck do people do it, as it isn't funny unless you have an incredibly fucked up sense of humour... but what gets me most about the whole fake file thing, is that people download the fucker and then continue to seed them instead of deleting the file!

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

Why add to the stupidness, by supporting a file that you've downloaded that is fake. I wish that I had the Atom's power, to go down through the phone lines and then appear in some douchebags room and punch them in the face. I think i've already stated my desire to have that power before... somewhere on the site.

I just tried downloading a copy of episode ten of 'Stargate Universe', only to get the above mentioned file, and then discovered that the show had a week off this week and that the next episode comes out on December 4th. Fucking hell.

If I knew that, then I wouldn't have wasted 350MB of bandwidth on shit.

So fuck you assholes that make fake files. Fuck you assholes that help propagate fake files. Fuck you Saniel.

The... Jimmy Fallon Did Something Funny?! + The Muppets?!

You read the title right. What the fuck is happening to the world, when Jimmy Fallon does something funny instead of the regular suckitude that he is known for?

I am talking about something that recently appeared on his show (which I still can't believe is HIS show, and which I still haven't watched since I turned off the first episode).

Specifically, a bit where he portrayed Neil Young and sang a cover of the theme to 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air'. Surprisingly, it isn't that bad, and I would totally buy a single if Neil Young were to ever actually do this song... as opposed to downloading it like I have pretty much every single piece of music I have ever gotten, as I don't like buying music... buying music is for morons.

Also, I've come across this video of The Muppets, singing a version of Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody', and it is pretty fucking awesome.

I absolutely loved Animal's part. I would have sent the link to my brother, except for the fact that it has Crazy Harry (pictured right) in a few scenes, who my brother absolutely hates because the character used to freak him out as a kid.

Seriously, look at that fucker! He is a creepy bastard, who blows shit up and cackles like a drugged up bat-shiat crazy fuckhat.

Apparently the character doesn't get used that often anymore because of 9/11, as they say blowing things up even jokingly isn't that fun anymore. I suppose something good came from the whole 9/11 thing that Bush set up. What?!

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 4

Hey, i'm back with another edition of 'Worst Porn I Can Find Today'... and this one is just a treat. This video has all the ingredients for a video you just cannot imagine being made.

The entire fact that this video is an amateur video, makes it go to another whole level, because you realise that the girl in the video isn't getting paid to do this. Do what? After the jump where we go NSFW.

The... Series of Personal Challenges: Cigarette

I've been offline the last few days after I discovered that I had gone over my bandwidth limit by about 1.5GB. So, i'm pretty sure that it is going to cost me roughly an extra $200-$300, which sucks ass.

Anyway, this is what i've done since the last post. A new entry into my Series of Personal Challenges.

This time, i'm trying to put a cigarette out on my hand. I got the idea at the pub during karaoke, so I got my friend to film me whilst I try to put a cigarette my girlfriend was smoking, out on my hand.

I also have to admit that this was the second take of the video, so that is why you hear my girlfriend say a certain line during the video.

The... Series of Personal Challenges: Auto Fellation

Here's a new one for you, the first in what I hope to be a series (duh!) of personal challenges. What this series entails, is I will film myself trying to see if I can do certain random things, and either succeeding or failing at them. Me and a friend came up with the idea last night at the pub, and we somehow came up with this first challenge.

Can I auto-fellate myself?

That is the challenge. For those that do not know what auto-fellation is, it is essentially the official term for trying to suck your own cock... bizarre how there are people who can do this feat, but even more bizarre is the fact that they even want to try.

So, enjoy!

Check back in every now and then to see if there any new videos in the series, as I am planning to do this on occasion. DO IT!

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 2

I told you i'd find something worse than the entry from the other day, and holy shit did I find a worse entry. The video I have for you today is a bit different I must say. I was searching for something else that I had remembered spotting previously, but found this instead.

Now, this one doesn't embed, so I am providing a screenshot and a link to the page holding the video. Both are provided, after the jump and I must say it is probably NSFW.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 1

You may be thinking that the title of this post is odd. Well, you're quite right. It really fucking is.

Everyone has done it. They've looked at porn. Whether it be involuntary or you're actively looking for it, if you have been on the internet for more than a minute, you've seen some porn... and in many cases, it was probably bad porn.

So that is the goal of this post, I will take a look around on the internet and find some bad porn. I know you want to watch it, because everyone is compelled to watch bad porn when they see it advertised. I'm not going out to find the most disgusting things I can find, just the worst somewhat normal porn you can find. So, bondage shit will most likely appear numerous times for this soon-to-be regular segment.

And as it is porn, it is most likely going to be NSFW, so these videos will always appear after the jump.