The... New

Finally I am back online, and with a new computer to kick about the place with. First off, i'm gonna comment on the whole "Michael Jackson is dead" stuff that is currently strewn about the media.

1. He was a very talented man, and made alot of really good songs.
2. He should have died back in the late 1980's.

Think about what I just said. He SHOULD HAVE died in the 80's, before he started to become the freak that he eventually turned into. Instead of people remembering him for the music that he leaves behind, alot of people are going to remember him as the formerly black man who turned into a white woman thing who liked to "play" with kids.

Can anyone deny that they don't think of the really strange shit that he had done for the past 15-20 years whenever they hear his name mentioned, even if a little bit? No, you can't.

RIP Michael Jackson from the 1980's... you will be missed.

The... Same

So, my life is currently the same as it was since the last posting I made. My life is still in the shit, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. I will however be getting a new computer and a new internet connection, allowing me to finally start updating this site again with more incessant rants of randomness.

Until that day comes, I shall be waiting for pain. What pain? THE PAIN!

The... Beginning

This isn't how I wanted to start off this blog, but it is how life is playing me some sucky cards right now. I began setting this blog up a few days ago, planning on posting a few things during the next few... but then my girlfriend of the last 3 years who I have two children with, broke up with me... on the night of my brother's wedding... a week after my birthday... two weeks after Valentines day.

Stuff is still being sorted, but for the moment, posts here will be sporadic at best and then I will hopefully be posting a few more as time goes on and my life begins to settle.

Perhaps I should sue the board-game company who invented this whole concept of 'The Game of Life', because whoever made this thing in the first place needs to add a whole lot more cards that are favourable to the players.


You've got all these "you've got cancer" cards, or "the financial world is about to go to shit" cards... but I don't see where there are any "ladies in bikinis appear out of nowhere with your favourite alcoholic beverage" cards are.

The... Late Night

So, it is Tuesday night here in Australia and I have just watched the opening of the new version of Late Night, starring the insufferable Jimmy Fallon. I felt I had some sort of obligation to do so because the last two hosts of the show were comedy geniuses, and I was hoping that somehow, Jimmy Fallon wouldn't suck like he usually does.

Too bad that Jimmy Fallon isn't a comedy genius, and he does indeed suck like he usually does. I watched up to the point that he pleaded for the audience to stay to watch the rest of the show before the Robert DeNiro interview. My god, how the hell did this man get to be the host of a show that had David Letterman and Conan O'Brien as the previous hosts? He couldn't even look directly at the camera for his stupid 'slow news jam' or whatever the hell it was called, and looked at the tele-prompter the whole time.

Really? He still does that after all the years he was on Saturday Night Live? He hasn't learnt how to... oh, I don't know... memorize a few lines here and there? You're a fucking comedian. Did you use cue cards and tele-prompters during your career as a stand-up? Does he still giggle during every single joke he tries to complete?

All I have to say to Mr Fallon is: Please, stop raping comedy, and shoot yourself in the face already.